Instruction Manuals

I have often noted how dysfunctional I am when it comes to anything that requires me to do something other than write or talk. I have never acquired the ability and/or patience to assemble or fix things. I also can't cook. So, for the most part, I prefer to invest in friends and associates who are more capable of accomplishing the tasks where they excel. And, I often eat out.

I have spent the better part of my holiday vacation reading the various manuals that are associated with many of the appliances recently installed in my new residence in the Village of Lake Hallie. I also received some wonderful Christmas gifts that provide me with more opportunities to study how to use new stuff.

Since I often spend my evening meal with the Swanson or Banquet couple, I decided to first focus on researching how to use my new microwave/convection oven via the Kenmore Elite Microwave Hood Combination Use & Care Guide. It outlines how to utilize this amazing piece of equipment. For example, I no longer have to pull back the plastic cover on the frozen entree for the prescribed time since the oven does the thinking for me. In addition, leftover pizza has never tasted so good while ordinary microwaves often make the re-heated, day-old slices unpalatable.

The user guide for my electric range was a bit more confusing - mostly because I do not know how to cook anything more than macaroni, hamburgers and frozen pizza. However, I can tell from the bulky piece of literature that there are many cooking options and features that would whet a chef's appetite. I did laugh, though, when reading the section detailing "General Cleaning and Care Issues".

My favorite user's manual was for my new "Bissell Lift-Off Revolution Vacuum Cleaner". Not only did I read the entire brochure, but I also tested my ability to read in Spanish - upside down. But the best line in the guide was highlighted in a flyer insert entitled, "Pet Hair TurboBrush Instructions". Although I do not own any animals, I thought it was great to know that I could use the vacuum attachment to remove pet hair from stairs, upholstery and area rugs. The instructions also reminded users that the TurboBrush was not to be used on pets. I began to envision some poor soul who did not read the directions.

If you are wondering why you did not receive The Bottom Line the past two weeks, it was because I was on the same two-week hiatus that I have taken for the past 10 years. Actually, I never really took a vacation this year since my main focus was to spend quality time with my instruction manuals. Happy New Year.